I was leading a team on a high-pressure, high-stakes project.
I was pumped and set the kind of pace where I never took time off.
Nights, weekends ... I was always on.
I didn’t realize the example I was setting.
Unintentionally, I made it unsafe for anyone to admit they couldn’t keep up or had other priorities.
Some had kids, others just worked at a different rhythm—but to a person, they felt they had to match my pace.
I can honestly say I meant it when I said:
“Pace yourselves. I don’t expect you to work like I’m working right now.”
But the message wasn’t getting through.
And people I really cared for felt judged and demoralized.
Predictably, the signs of burnout started showing.
Team members began withdrawing.
Everyone looked strained and tired.
One rockstar employee started missing small details (not like them at all).
Another always had a box of tissues—dealing with a cold that never went away.
I knew something had to change—starting with my leadership.
Here’s what I did:
1. I spoke candidly about what I was seeing and asked, “How would you handle it if you were me?” The shift was huge. It wasn’t just me showing empathy—it was also inviting them to see my side.
2. I stopped praising overwork and started recognizing rest and balance. I made sure the team knew it was safe to be human and have a life.
3. I kicked off meetings by asking how people were really doing—personally and professionally—and listened actively.
4. I stopped emailing at midnight and on weekends.
What happened next?
Real, honest conversations about stress and workload.
The team began to recover. AND—we had a powerful realization: Diversity in the workplace should include diverse work styles.
As I adjusted my expectations, they saw that my approach wasn’t wrong for me either.
The outcome?
We built a culture where people felt safer to be themselves.
Where we didn’t have to choose between sustainability and performance.
Or productivity and well-being.
As for me?
I learned that leading with empathy and balance doesn’t mean lowering expectations.
It means making space for different paths to the same goal.